I’ve been in clinicals again this week. I feel like I should update about that. I started to feel really comfortable in the hospital and I like that. I wish we went more days in row because I always like the second day better than the first day…anyway, that’s off topic.
My patient this week had just had a left AKA. He had had a right AKA a couple of months ago and because he took that one very well and he was developing gangrene on his left foot (he was a diabetic with PVD) they decided to go ahead and take the other leg. (oh, btw, AKA means “Above Knee Amputation” and PVD is “peripheral vascular disease–which is when diabetics lose feeling in their extremities, often causing them to injure their feet without even knowing it.)
So the long and the short of it was that my patient had had both legs amputated. So here he was, a 56 year old man with tattoos that said things like “born to be wild” and “freedom” (oh and also the names of several girls–none of whom were his wife. haha.) and he was laying in bed without legs and in excrutiating pain and do you know what he said to me this morning when I came in?
He said thank you. In fact he didn’t just say thank you, he went on and on about how much he appreciated me and the nurses on my floor and how it made such a difference that someone listened to him.
Later on, when I was in the room with him, I thought to myself, “would I want to live like this?” I mean, how do you cope with something like that? you need help with everything. Also he was in extreme, extreme pain. We were giving him 100 mg of demerol every 2 hours and he was still in pain. It was rough. But there he was thanking me and saying later that he would like to get up and that he hoped to stay active. He had end stage lung cancer. He hadn’t really been eating since march because he had started chemotherapy. He was taking pills like they were candy.
Just sitting here thinking about it makes me want to cry, but he would not like that. No, he would not like that at all, and he never cried the whole time I was with him, despite the fact that at one point he said his pain was a 12 on a 0-10 scale. Nor would his wife or daughters, who came and sat with him the whole day, like it. These women were caring for him all day long and had been for over a year. They were devoting hours, after getting home from work, or between driving the school bus to help him and encourage him.
What amazing people these people were. They were kind of like real life heroes. In fact, if I knew of one of those “describe a hero that you know” contests I would probably enter them.
They looked at life, not through rose colored lenses, but seeing things the way they really were, all the trials and difficulties, the frustrations and pains, and they said “ok.” And they didn’t look back and they didn’t complain and they found a laugh here and there and rest in the hospital chairs.
As a nurse I always wanted to be able to help people. To really be a hero for them, but here I am discovering that more than likely, most of the time it is the other way around.
Filed under: Life, Nursing school, Uncategorized , AKAs, clinicals, dealing with diabetes, diabetes, hospitals, Nursing, Nursing school, PVD, sickness
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